FYL
by OfficiallyNonOfficial
Summary: She's used every excuse in the book not to be with Tori.  Now she's finally run out.  Rated M for language, drug use, violence, and S-E-X ;
1. The Beautiful People

We all know them. We all have them. We're on the outside always looking in. Always wondering what's it like to live that perfect existence. Wondering what it's like to ever come close to it.

They're the untouchables. So shiny and pretty. We just want to touch them. But they're too far away. They're up in the sky and we're the lowest of the fucking low. Worse than dirt. Just slightly better than shit itself...

They're the beautiful people. Untouchable.

Her name is Jade West. And she is one of the beautiful people.

She's flawless. She has pale skin like marble and cold blue eyes the color of glaciers in the sunlight. Her hair flows down her feminine shoulders in waves of soft satin and her lips form a heart when she pouts. A bloody fucking heart. She's got the perfect body. Tight skin, tight bod, tight ass in a pair of designer jeans. Only brand name clothes for her, only the best of the best for the wicked witch of the West.

Ha.

She's got the perfect boyfriend, too. Tall, dark, handsome. Beck Oliver is the ultimate boy toy. Loyal, nice, charming. He's the bassist for an alternative rock band, he waits on her every beck (haha!) and call, and he doesn't ask questions. He's a zombie ass muthafucker. No will. He follows orders. He follows the mass.

She doesn't have a lot of friends. Most people are afraid of her. We little people tend to steer clear. It's like she's got an invisible bubble around her and whenever we close to her we bounce off. She repels us.

She repels me.

But at the same time attracts me like a moth to devastating flame.

"S'up Tori?"

"Hey, Andre. What's shakin?"

The handsome black boy juts his head over my shoulder. "Sinjin." He says.

I sigh. Roll my eyes. I don't have to look over my shoulder to know the scene that's unfolding. It goes something like this.

"Hi Jade. You look very pretty today." Sinjin stutters. Awkward. Nerdy. Hopeful.

"Here she goes." Andre mutters.

"Get lost, dweeb." Jade snarls, not even bothering to look at him. "Now."

He sighs. I'm counting down in my head. Three...two... one... he spots me. His eyes widen, a huge smile lighting up his face.

Fuck.

"Hey Tori-"

"I'm two seconds away from cutting your dick off with these dull scissors." Jade threatens waving a pair of oxidized scissors. There is no doubt in my mind she will do it.

Sinjin's expression causes me to smirk. I think he just peed himself. Again. He makes a beeline for the exit where he promptly disappears. Andre cocks a brow at me. I shrug.

"I see you're as pleasant as ever." I comment.

"Fuck you, Vega." She slams her locker door and walks past me. She shoulder checks me on her way and my bag falls to the floor as my back slams into the locker.

I see red. And I'm not talking about Cat.

"Hey. You. Can't you see I'm standing here?"

Andre puts his hand on my shoulder, whispering, telling me to let it go. But I can't let it go. She's Jade West. One of the beautiful people. She's like a Greek goddess that won't come down from her throne in heaven. Why would she when they all worship her anyway? There's no need to mingle with the slaves.

But I can bring her down. She's untouchable and this is the only way I know how to touch her.

She spins on her heel, expression a mask of rage. Incredulity. I have her attention. I always do.

"What?" She growls, daring me to make a move.

I take the bait. "Oh, what? You're blind and deaf now?"

I can't say I saw that hit coming. I should have though. I should have seen it coming a mile away. She projects her every move a week in advance. The way her shoulders dropped, the way she stiffened- I should have known.

Her fist catches me square on the side of the mouth. I fall back into my locker seeing stars in a blanket of black. She's like a fucking cobra and she injects me with her venom. I suck it out the only way I can.

My own first smashes into the right side of her face. I grin triumphantly as she stumbles back almost smashing into a gawking, stunned Beck. Poor guy. I swear God blessed him with all looks and no brain.

Jade shoves him away before charging at me. I'm ready for her. My hands tangle into her hair while her sights are aimed at my face. She fights dirty. She's gonna go scratch, bite, pinch, flick, poke, kick, punch, and headbutt every inch of me for as long as she can.

"Fucking skank!"

"Bitch!"

We're locked in a standoff. If I go forward she'll rip my head off. If she goes forward I'll tear hers clean off her shoulders.

We lock stares. Hers is cold as Arctic water. I feel a shiver run down my spine. Her eyes are glued to my bleeding lip. Her tongue briefly flicks over her own.

"ENOUGH!"

About time, Lane.

The school's counselor comes roaring down the steps, livid. He quickly separates us, tossing Jade into Beck's arms while Andre secures his own around my waist. I'm furious. Fuming! Ready to go on a rampage! But no matter how angry I am I know I can't fight Andre. His big, muscular arms feel like a stone cage around me.

"What's the meaning of this?"

Silence fills the hall. That is until my sweet, air headed friend Cat comes waltzing in with Robbie.

"Motherfuckin shit! Tori you're bleeding! What happened?"

I can't help a chuckle. It's very rare that Cat swears. I must look like shit. I take a peek at Jade and smirk. Little Ms. Perfect looks like a pissed off kitty.

"Nothing," I say cockily, "Just teaching Jade a lesson in manners."

Cat glances at Jade then turns to me with a grin. "Well okay! Have fun!"

Jesus H, Cat...

"Caterina!" Lane yells. He looks like he's about to burst a vessel. I can't say I blame him. Jade and I are a handful. He sighs. "I'm sick and tired of this! You, you, you, you, you and you! Detention tomorrow! 8AM to 4PM! Don't be late!"

Safe to say, I think we're all in shock. We all turn to watch him leave.

"Detention?" Jade shouts, the first to recover, "I think you mean suspension!"

"Detention!" Lane yells before he rounds a corner.

Cat, Robbie, Beck, and Andre look at me. It's not like I started this fight. But I sure as hell finished it.

Jade scoffs, fixing her blouse before grabbing her bag. "Just fucking great. Couldn't keep your mouth shut could you, Vega?"

"Me?"

Lane shouldn't have left so soon. Andre's grip tightens. I get the message loud and clear.

"Don't think I don't know you were at Beck's trailer the other night."

Finally Beck snaps out of it. His dark brows hang over his eyes. "What? What are you talking about-"

"Oh get off it, West."

"Apparently you do." The jealousy drips off of her voice, the anger making her eyes glow like some sort of monster. "News flash. You're not good enough."

Before anyone can say a word she stomps off and I'm left to wonder who she's talking about.

* * *

><p>Sometimes I can't help but want to touch them- the beautiful people. That kind of perfection should not exist in this world.<p>

It really doesn't.

We can't touch the beautiful people because they'll break. If we look at them for too long we start to see all the flaws and imperfections. Every mistake comes into the light until finally the guise is lifted.

They're like glass dolls. Far too easy to break.

I'm standing on the outside always looking in. I used to think I wanted to be on the inside. Then I realized these glass walls that separate us is a cage which they can't escape. They're on display. Jade's on display.

I can reach in and touch them. But they can't reach out to touch me.

I touch her now; my fingertips gliding through the junction of her thighs. My face is pressed into the crook of her neck, teeth sinking into her pulse point, tongue lapping up the moisture from her skin. She contorts, arches, and withers against my every touch. Almost as if it causes her pain.

Her thighs tighten their grip on my waist pushing my trapped hand into her. My fingertips almost brush her soul-they're in so deep.

"T-Tori!" She cries out in a pitch unbeknownst to her. Her eyes are squeezed shut, her lips pulled back in a grimace. She clenches at my fingers greedily.

Our bodies slither against each other like snakes in heat. Tangled, hot, moist. I pulse inside of her and she screams. Jade is very vocal. She reacts. I like that. I bite her, she whimpers. I scratch her, she shivers. I torture her and she begs. She reacts.

"I can't believe you busted my lip." I pant. My wrist is cramping, my forearm aching. We've been fucking for hours. My body is sore, tired. Satisfied. But Jade isn't. She never is.

She untangles her hand from my hair and gently traces the area with her thumb. Half my jaw is bruised.

"I'm sorry," she says softly, cerulean eyes locked on me. "I just got so jealous when Beck told me you went to his house."

"Jealous of who exactly?"

"Jealous of- OH MY GOD!"

She comes hard. Her walls take my fingers hostage, her legs hold me against her as if her life depends on it. Her cheeks turn a lovely shade of red, her pretty little mouth frozen in a silent scream.

I smirk to myself. Pleased. I take great pride in knowing I'm the only one who makes her feel like this. I wait a few minutes, letting her ride out the very last wave of her orgasm before reclaiming my hand.

She pants, sounding like she just ran a marathon. Her chest is heaving, thrusting into my face. I kiss her nipples, flattening my tongue against the hard, sensitive buds. She shivers. Gasps.

I close my eyes. Lose track of time. Until her voice, that hauntingly beautiful voice of hers, calls my name.

"-of you, Tori."

I frown. "What?"

She purses her lips, a line forming between her shapely brows. She hates admitting things to me, hates seeming weak.

"I'm jealous of Beck."

"Why?"

"Because if he wanted you it would be so easy for him to have you. No one would bat a lash. But it's not the same for me. I can't have you."

"I don't want Beck. Why can't you have me?" I whisper. She's caught in a trance and I'm afraid to break it.

Jade sighs, untangling herself from my arms. She grabs the sheet and wraps it around herself before turning on her side. Away from me.

I resist the urge to pull her back to me. Jade is one of the beautiful people. She's rich, talented, clever, smart. All the boys want her and all the girls want to be her. She only wears designer clothes. Only the best of the best for the wicked witch of the West...

"Never mind." She's up, moving like a reverse tornado sucking up her clothes from my floor. "Just forget about it, Vega."

And just like that she's out of my reach again. Just like that she's the cold, heartless, bitch from before. Yeah she's one of the beautiful people.

Everyone knows they're untouchable.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The idea for this fic came from The Breakfast Bunch &amp; Wild Things. You're probably sitting there scratching your head and thinking damn this bitch has issues (And cusses a lot XD.) I totally do but it makes great reading material. Should I continue? Should I give up? R&amp;R! I have a few chapters ready. <strong>


	2. Just Lose It

"Make sure you apologize to Jade."

Sure. I'll apologize. Just as soon as hell freezes over. Apologize for what exactly?

"Ugh."

"Tori," my mother warns me.

The official story is that Jade and I got into a fight while Beck, Andre, Robbie stood by doing nothing, and Cat egged it on.

What a crock!

Lane left out the part about Jade shoving me into the locker and throwing the first hit. My dad is pretty pissed off. He's a cop and he expects his daughters to be model citizens. As if. My mom's a little more chilling. She understands where I'm coming from because she remembers my first day here when I came home crying because Jade dumped hot coffee all over me.

"I'm not apologizing."

"Between you and me kiddo, I'm glad you gave her what was coming to her... But I want you to be the bigger person and apologize."

"Whatever." I jump out.

"Be the bigger person, Tori!"

I roll my eyes as my mom drives off. It's 8 in the morning on a Saturday and I'm fucking walking into school. Detention. For something I didn't even start.

Go figure.

I fix my Ray Bans, adjusts the lapels of my leather jacket. There's no need to make appearances. I make my way through the front doors. I'm surprised at how quiet this place is. It's nothing I'm used to. What with HA being a performing arts school there's never a shortage of noise.

"Yo, Tori!"

Andre waves me over to his locker where Beck, Cat, Robbie, and he are waiting. Despite the fact that we're in detention (& the fact that it's partly my fault) they flash me welcoming smiles.

"Hey there." Cat greets, moving in for a hug.

Cat. I love her. She's so cute, so sweet. At least she SEEMS like it. When I first met her I wanted nothing more than to corrupt her.

She ended up corrupting me.

"Hey Little Red." I use Andre's nickname for her.

He shakes his head then settles a pair of stylish glasses on his nose. Andre's my best friend. Well, guy friend. At first glance he looks like your stereotypical black kid. Baggy pants, baggy shirts, braids, shades, colorful basketball shoes. Heck, even the voice. He's all that and more. He's the most talented song writer I know. He can play an array of musical instruments while I can't even play one chord on the guitar. He's also handsome, friendly extremely smart, and loyal. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here. I wanted to quit so badly after the coffee incident.

I smile at him. It's all in good gest. He gets that.

"Good morning, beautiful." Ugh! Robbie.

There's not much to say about Robbie. He's a slightly more attractive Sinjin. Nerdy, scrawny, whiny, and a bit weird. His best friend is a puppet named Rex.

I ignore him and move on to Beck. Usually I can handle his constant flirting but after last night I'm just not feeling up to it.

Beck flashes me one of those heartbreaking smiles that all the girls seem to fall for. "Tori."

"Beck."

I've never figured out Beck's appeal. He's pretty, yes. But I've seen way hotter, sexier guys around here. Like Ryder Daniels. He's an all American hottie. Beck just looks like he was supposed to be a girl but changed his mind at the last second and grew a dick instead.

I study him. Nice smile, perfect hair. A bit skinny for my tastes. Too hard around the edges. His eyes aren't the right color either. They're too dark and squinty. They don't remind me of the sky on a hot summer day, his skin isn't soft.

I realize with horror that I'm pointing out everything, well, Jade and that I'm comparing her to her boyfriend. If Jade was a guy, would I be attracted to her? I doubt it. The fact that she's very obviously a girl is half her appeal.

Beck shoves his hands into his pockets, flips his hair away from his face. "So this is probably a stupid question, but uh, have you seen Jade?"

For a mere second I freeze. It happens every time I'm around him. It happens every time after we fuck. This fear that he knows...

"No. She's your girlfriend shouldn't you know where she is?" I don't mean to snap but I can't help it. I may not be team Beck but he's a nice guy and he's my friend. He doesn't deserve the things I do behind his back.

I freaked out the first time...

It was after Jade faked a black eye to get me in trouble. God must have spoken to her because she grew a conscious and ended up helping clean the Black Box after a freshmen food fight. We were actually getting along for once. Things were going great. Then I made the mistake of inviting her out for pizza. She snapped at me. I lost it.

I wanted to know why she felt the need to torment me every single day when I did nothing but try to be her friend.

The answer came unexpectedly. I would have bet money she would say something sarcastic, insult me a little more, then storm out of the theater.

Instead she rushed me, pushed me up against the wall, and swallowed my protests with a hot, needy, wet kiss.

"Yeah. Sorry. Stupid question." Beck apologizes snapping me out of the memory.

Gee he's apologizing. Way to make me feel better, Beck.

"No, I'm sorry." I sigh, brushing my fingers through my hair. "Just had a rough night... we should probably head to the library already."

They all agree with a nod.

* * *

><p>"No talking, no texting, no having fun!" The detention coach shouts one last time to make his point. He's an overweight middle aged man who's going bald prematurely and smells like tuna and coffee grinds.<p>

Glorious.

"So basically we're in detention?" Andre asks with a smirk. I bite back a grin. There's nothing quite as satisfying as pissing off an already unstable teacher.

"YES!" He howls, face red and sweaty. He looks like an imploding tomato. "What are you, stupid?"

"I thought I was human." Andre mocks.

"Yeah."

"Yes."

"Heh!" Cat snorts beside me. I raise a brow at her. Usually she's dressed in bright clothing with her hair down and a smile on her face. Today her velvet hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail, she's wearing dark reflective glasses, a dark blue muscle shirt, and baggy black cargo pants.

Hung over Cat never fails to amuse me.

"You take off those glasses, Valentine!"

Cat props her feet up on the desk, arms crossed over her shoulders as she leans her head back.

Ignored!

I think we can all agree that Cat's easily the best actress in Hollywood Arts... Well... besides Jade.

And speak of the devil.

The doors slam open nearly knocking Mr. Fuck Face onto his ass. She's always been one for a dramatic entrance and today is no different. She strolls in in all her glory. Perfect as always. The world's greatest actor.

I bite my lip, shifting in my seat so that it looks like I'm conversing with Cat when really I can't take my eyes off of her.

She's wearing those dark denim jeans with the holes and paint splatter. They hug her every curve perfectly. She looks so delicious in those jeans. They should be illegal. Chain suspenders hang off of her hips, clinking with every step. A black studded belt with a buckle reading FUCK YOU makes me chuckle. Finally her outfit is completed with a slightly loose fitting red hoodie. It's 86 degrees outside...

Mr. Fuck Face finally recovers. He hounds after Jade until she throws herself into a seat at the back of the library.

"You're late!"

She mimics Cat's position. "You want a cookie for figuring that out?"

Students: 3 Fuck Face: 0 Go team!

For once he doesn't make a bigger fool of himself. He throws his hands up in exasperation and stomps off to the front.

Andre has already put in his ear buds and drums the beat to a song on the desk. Robbie is busy making puppy eyes at a very irritated Cat. Beck keeps glancing at Jade over his shoulders, obviously trying to get her attention. I settle into my seat as well. Hopefully this tool will just leave us alone the rest of the day.

I glance at the clock. 8:07 Shit.

"Andre Harris!" Andre throws a two finger salute. "Beck Oliver!" He raises his hand. "Robbie Shapiro!" A smile and a wave. "Cat Valentine!" Cat mutters a curse under her breath. "Tori Vega!" I nod. "Jade West!" He doesn't wait for her response.

"Okay. Detention is from 8 to 4. There are rules to be followed. If you break those rules you WILL be kicked out of detention and your time will not count. Meaning you'll be sitting here next weekend."

Andre raises his hand.

"What?" He asks, sounding annoyed.

"What about lunch?"

"What ABOUT lunch?"

Cat perks up at the mention of lunch. Last night after Jade stormed out she called me up. The offer to go party with her still available. I wasn't really feeling it though. It was only two o clock but I could tell by the sound of her voice that she was well on her way to being trashed.

"Are we allowed off campus to get food?"

"No!"

Robbie interjects. "Can we call someone to bring us food?"

"No!"

"What are we supposed to eat?" I wonder out loud.

"That's not my problem! And no talking!"

"You can't leave us here without food. It's unethical." Jade joins in.

"You just bought yourself another Saturday, missy."

"Oh, I'm crushed." She scoffs.

"You just bought one more."

We all exchanges glances. Beck looks ready to intervene while Robbie looks on in shock, Cat looks indifferent, Andre is smirking, and I'm trying to figure out what her problem is.

"Well I'm free the Saturday after. Beyond that I'm gonna have to check my calender."

We're all thinking the same thing- Jade just shut the fuck up.

"Good!" He shouts, outraged. "Because it's gonna be filled. We'll keep going," he threatens. Jade is looking a little less cocky and a little more pissed. "You want another one? Say the word just say the word! Instead of going to prison you'll come here... Are you through?"

Safe to say, I think we're all thinking the same thing here. Fuck Face has it out for Jade.

"No!" I slam my head against the desk. She just has to get the last word,

"I'm doing society a favor." He claims.

I just want to grab a chair and break it over his big fucking head. I can tell Jade is reaching the point of no return. She crosses her arms over her chest, feet planted like tree roots on the floor. I've studied Jade for too long not to know she's about to flip her shit.

"So?"

"That's another one right now! I've got you for the rest of your natural born life if you don't watch your step! You want another one?"

She's working her jaw, her eyes set on him with murderous intent. Somebody has to stop this before it gets out of hand.

"Yes!"

"You got it!" He screams at the top of his lungs. I smirk. He thought he was going to win this game but she's calling his bluff. "That's another one right there! That's another one pal!"

"Cut it out!" Cat cries out, her hands cradling her head. I can't imagine all this yelling is doing any good for her hangover.

Jade snaps her cold gaze to her.

"Stop." She mouths ignoring the glare.

"You through?"

"Not. Even. Close. Bud!" Jade growls.

Mr. FF points an accusing finger at her. "That's one more right there."

I don't know what happens but finally she seems to grow tired of this pointless game of wits.

"Do you really think I give a shit?"

"Another!" They stare each other down for a few seconds. "You through?"

"How many is that?" Andre wonders out loud.

"That's seven including the one when you-"

"Robbie shut up!" Cat groans rubbing her temples.

"And that's another one for you Ms. Valentine!"

Cat's head bounces off the table. "Shit."

"That's another one! What are you two? Related?" The room goes silent. "Does anyone else have something to say? No? Good." He whirls on Jade again. "You're mine West. For two months I gotcha. I gotcha." He stalks off, his eyes on the fuming brunette the entire time.

I can't imagine she'll be taking this very well.

The second he shuts the door, Andre gets up out of his seat and beckons Cat and me to follow him. He leads us to the very far back of the library to a spot where shelves make up a three sided wall with a clearing in the middle. He plops down, stretching his legs out in front of him and leaning back on his arms.

I lay down across from him and Cat lays her head on my hip using me as a pillow.

"Alright so spill." Andre says after a minute. I guess Robbie's reading (or he's texting Rex.) Jade and Beck must be doing couple things. I fight back the vomit that threatens to come out every time I think about his hands on her. His lips on hers.

I decide to play dumb. Cat and Andre are truly my best friends. Andre and I go back to before I even started HA and Cat and I... we messed around for a bit. She wasn't my

first girl and I (very painfully obviously) wasn't hers. When it ended we remained good friends. Even better than before.

It's no surprise that ten minutes after Jade kissed me in the Black Box almost a year ago Cat and Andre were at my doorstep. They know everything from the second it started. But I—I just can't bring myself to them about last night. It's not like Jade hasn't pulled it before. For some reason I can't explain it hurt more than it should have though.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ugh! Tori!" Cat whines, "I have a MAJOR hangover. Just tell us."

I pat her shoulder. "Serves you right. Partying without me."

"I told you to come... obviously you came. In Jade's-"

Andre holds his hands up. "Too much information, Cat."

"Whatever," the redhead snorts. "Don't act like it doesn't tickle your balls."

Andre's silence tells us everything. I shake my head at the obnoxious girl. There's two sides to Cat. This rude, abrasive, mean girl is the real her. It still crosses my wires seeing her at school acting like the world is sunshine and rainbows. She puts on a very convincing performance.

"Cat!" I admonish. She can be very blunt. "Leave him alone."

"What? We all know he gets off thinking about you two all over each other." A tiny smirk, "I do."

I look at Andre. The shade of red on his cheeks matches my own.

I've got a very colorful reply to her comment hanging on the tip of my tongue when guess who decides to join us?

"You do what?"

Beck. Perfect timing as usual.

"Hey."

"Yo!"

"Nothing."

Beck smirks, cocks his head to the side in that puppy dog way only he can pull off. "Mind if I join you?"

"Sure," Andre pats the spot next to him.

"Where's your dark half?"

I tug a strand of velvet hair in warning. Cat's the type of person that enjoys making others squirm. Even if that other person is her best friend.

Beck sighs. I actually feel sorry for the guy as his face falls at the mere mention of Jade. I pick at my nails, glad I'm wearing dark tinted shades. My eyes would give it all away...

Jade says I'm an open book. A kid. I wear my heart on my sleeve. A random stranger can pass by and guess my mood from a simple glance.

I guess that's why I'll never be as good an actor as she is. Or Cat.

"I don't know anymore, man. She cried so much when we broke up the last time but now it's like she hates the idea of being around me. Like I'm some sort of nuisance. Is it me?"

Andre shoots me a pointed glare. I concentrate on picking the non existent lint off Cat's shoulder. Andre and Beck used to be best friends before I came around. Slowly but surely their friendship turned into an friendly acquaintance. Beck got involved with Jade and she stole him away. Andre got into his music and soon enough he realized he didn't miss Beck as much anymore.

"Don't trip. Things will set themselves straight."

I can't help but catch his gaze. He looks torn between wanting to comfort Beck and remaining loyal to his duty as my best friend. I'm not going to make him choose. In all fairness I'm the one that deserves to get her heart broken. I'm the one Jade's cheating with. It's not like I've tried to stop it. I've encouraged it.

I'm certain I'm about to start a long Tori bashing session.

"Come with me to the fantasy section."

Cat grabs my sleeve and tugs me to my feet. I didn't even notice her move I was so caught up in my thoughts. I want to decline. She gives me a look that leaves no room for argument.

We take our time getting around, cutting through the maze of shelves instead of going the short route through the middle of the library. I secretly thank Cat for being sensible and thoughtful for once. I don't know how much longer I could stand listening to Beck cry and Andre rag on me. I'm also grateful she chose the long way- I can't stand the idea of Jade right now let alone seeing her.

"What's wrong?"

Where do I begin? The fact that I'm a not so secret secret lesbian? The fact that I lust after my friend's girlfriend? The fact that I've fallen for the one person in this world I shouldn't have fallen for? A girl who for all intent and purposes hates the day I was born?

I hop onto an empty table next to Cat.

"It all started the day I was born."

* * *

><p>I spend the next few hours talking about HER. About Jade.<p>

I don't know what my damage is but I can't stop my attraction to her. My brain knows she's trouble. It tells me to run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. Every morning I wake up telling myself that I will no longer let her get to me. It's time to break the binds. Take back control.

My brain knows she brings me nothing but complication, grief, pain, misery.

My heart is a different matter. It rolls over itself at the mere the thought, the mere possibility, of seeing Jade. My guts get tight and clench, my pulse speeds up. I have a full body reaction to her presence. She shuns me, cuts me with her words. But as soon as she looks my way, as soon as she acknowledges my existence I'm running back to her. Everything is forgiven. Clean, blank slate.

Lets do it all over again.

Caterina stays quiet throughout the entire monologue. I don't have to read minds to know what she's thinking. She thinks I'm an idiot. A class A moron. Pathetic. Hopeless.

She swings her legs back and forth, a straw hanging between her lips. She looks thoughtful.

"So what I'm getting is Jade is a really good fuck and that's why you can't stop going back to her?"

I roll my eyes. Was she even listening? "It's not the sex, Cat... Well it's not ALL about the sex."

"It has to be, Tori. You've fooled yourself into thinking you love her but the truth is you can't love someone that treats you that badly."

"Tell my heart that."

Cat makes a gagging sound. Sometimes she's really insensible. I wish shiny Cat was here.

"What you need is to get out there and get yourself a hot girlfriend. No one wonder you can't get over Jade, you lock yourself up in your room all day obsessing over her."

It's true.

"...What do you suggest?"

"I suggest you come to my place after detention. I'll make you forget all about Jade. Lets go see what the others are up to."

"What's up boys and squirrels?"

Andre, Beck, Robbie, and Jade are all sitting in a small half circle. I guess they made up because Beck has his arm hanging loosely over her shoulders while her head rests against his side. I try very hard to ignore the ache in my chest and the way her eyes purposely dodge me.

Fuck you too, Jade.

"Toooori!" Andre drawls, a goofy grin on his face. Robbie is staring at us like we each grew a second set of eyes. Beck is cracking up.

"Holy freaking shit dude, what the hell are you on?" Cat asks excitedly, seating herself next to him. Guessing that "MAJOR" hangover is gone.

Andre chuckles as if he just heard the world's greatest joke. He is GONE. Beyond gone. He pats his pants pocket affectionately. Then he purrs. I hope he isn't getting weird.

"Only the best hash in town."

That's why the fireworks haven't gone off yet between Beck and Jade. They're baked like homemade cookies. Robbie takes the blunt from Andre, taking a deep drag. It goes to Jade. She glances at me briefly before shutting her eyes and taking a power hit.

That girl has some lungs on her. She takes another, detaches herself from Beck, climbs to her feet, and offers the blunt to me.

I start saying no but Cat gives me a little shove while Jade is practically daring me with her eyes to do it.

"Huff, huff, pass, right?"

They all nod.

I take a hit. The smoke pushes into my throat and tickles my lungs. I offer the blunt to Cat but Jade pushes it back to my lips. I exhale. No smoke. One more hit. Breathe deep. The boys hoot and holler, cheering me on. Cat looks pleased while Jade just looks smug.

Finally she grabs it from me and takes another drag before handing it to Cat.

"That's my girl," she purrs in my ear, her breath ghosting across my neck. I shiver. My body remembers her every touch and this is VERY familiar.

Fighting back a moan I take a step back from the cruel brunette into the safety of Cat's waiting arms. I'm used to being touch-y feel-y with Cat. It's comfortable. It's safe. Most of the time. Who's going to hold a few kisses here and a little groping there against me?

"How long is it going to take for this shit to hit?" I begin to wonder after ten minutes pass and I've yet to experience this deliriously happy state the others have fallen in to.

"S-should've hit by now," Beck snickers. Jade is playing with his hair. He keeps lazily swatting her hand away only to have it come back in a few seconds. "Hey Tori maybe you should smoke Jade. She'll hit you reaaal quick."

Five seconds ago his comment wouldn't have been funny.

I double over, Cat's arms the only thing keeping me from face planting on the floor. She's struggling to hold me upright- she's shaking from laughing so hard.

"That is so fucking true!" I manage to say between fits of giggles. I'm going to have a six pack tomorrow.

"Guys. Guys..." Robbie calls us, a serious look on his boyish face. "What if instead of the world ending in fire and war and zombies we're over run by a clan of mean leprechauns?"

We all stare at him. That might be the most amazing thing I've ever heard! Just think! What if it's a government conspiracy? Make us believe we're going to be killed in a zombie apocalypse when really it's leprechauns.

"I'm scared of leprechauns!" Cat mews, her grip on my waist tightening and causing her breasts to thrust against my back.

Mmm... Cat has amazing breasts. She's got an amazing tongue too. One time she tied three knots on a cheery stem in under two minutes.

Cherries are red.

Cat's hair is red.

Cherries taste good.

Cat tastes good.

"Tori!"

I jump. Why is Andre yelling at me? What were we talking about? "Huh?"

"Leprechauns. We're talking about leprechauns."

I said that out loud?...

"Oh yeah I've seen that movie." I frown. That was one mean fucking midget. "Pinche leprechauns." I've decided I don't like them. Why are little people so angry and hostile? Are the even people? Isn't there a certain height requirement in order to be considered human?

"Dude you know how the earth is tilted on its asses? Axis? Axes? Well you know how it's tilted? I'm tilted right now. I feel the earth moving beneath my feet too. Like we're rotating but we just don't feel it. But it's happening right now. True story."

We stare at Cat. She's fucking brilliant. Beck slaps his thigh and barks a laugh that goes on for years. "Asses!" He sputters, "You said asses!"

"I have to go to the bathroom." I announce. All this laughing is squeezing my bladder.

"Hurry back," Cat nuzzles my neck. I turn around and give her a quick peck on the lips. Not even a kiss. If that was a kiss then it's the type of kiss you give your grandmother or something.

"I will."

Everything has a dream like quality to it. I feel like I'm walking on the moon as I navigate my way to the bathroom. Heh heh! Moon walk. It's like I'm Michael Jackson or something... Wait. No. I don't want to be Michael Jackson. That would mean I like little boys. I don't like little boys. I like little girls. Well not little girls but- Am I arguing with myself?

There's a clock right above the door. 1:57 PM. How many years did it take me to get from the back of the library to the restroom? Will the others be old and wrinkly by the time I get back? That was a three year walk at the very least.

Fuck numbers!

I lean into the door and nearly fall in as it's yanked open. I squint at the brunette. How the fuck did she get here before I did? It took me three years! I glance at the clock again 2:03.

What. The. Fuck.

"How did you get here before me?"

Jade frowns. She's swaying back and forth. "You already used the bathroom."

Did I? I don't remember.

"Oh. Okay."

"Do you need to use it again?"

"I don't know." I honestly don't. "Maybe. But you should come with me. It took me three years to get here."

She steps aside. The doorway isn't big enough for the both of us. Our noses almost touch, her breasts brush against mine. My body explodes in a rush of pleasure.

"Jade," I gasp. Am I imaging things or are her hands massaging the back of my thighs? She's so close to me I can taste her breath. Spicy cinnamon. It's the flavor of gum she chews.

"You're so pretty, Tori," she coos, fingering the waves on my shoulders. Her eyes are glazed over, reminding me of a doll's glassy stare. She buries her face in my neck and inhales deeply. "You smell good."

My brain is short circuiting. On some level I realize what's going on but I'm having an out of body experience. I watch Jade drag her tongue across my ear, I watch my knees start giving. I can just give in. I can just let her do with me as she pleases because it's wrong but it feels so right...

"Why did you leave last night?" I breathe. Jade freezes. Stupid mouth why can't you stay shut?

"Why can't you ever keep your mouth shut, Vega?" She stalks off. I think I just lost my high.

"Fuck you, West," I mumble to myself, feeling my spirits come crashing down.

I take my time getting back to the others. They're all laughing at some thing or another. Jade isn't there.

"Hey Tor- You're crying." Andre stumbles to his feet. The dam breaks once his arms are around me.

"I didn't know you missed me that much." Cat tries for a joke but ends up making it worse.

"You're so conceited Cat," I cry, "You're so conceited."

Now Beck joins the crowd. His brows are drawn over his eyes, lips pursed into a tight line. "Did Jade say something to you? She did, didn't she?"

"No, Beck, it's fine. I started it."

He looks at me disbelievingly. "YOU started it?" The others match his incredulity. "YOU picked a fight with Jade?"

"Is it so hard to believe?" I snap. "Why do I always have to be the victim? Maybe I'm a bitch and you're all too blind to see it! Maybe I'm not the goody two shoes you think I am!"

"Whoa Tori, calm dow-"

"No Beck, you calm down!"

On the inside I'm howling with anger at myself. I'm losing it right in front of everybody. This isn't the way I am but she just drives me insane. She's a roller coaster with ups and downs, twists, flips, and turns. All I can do is try to hold on. Pray I make it through to the end of the ride. She's got my emotions twisted up like a pretzel. My feelings are her own personal playground.

Cat wraps her arms around my waist. I bite back a sob throwing myself against her. Andre looks troubled for a second. Not that I don't appreciate him trying to comfort me but for some reason I feel safer in Cat's arms.

The silence drags on save for my occasional sob or sniffle. All friends have a falling out but I'm not so sure we'll all survive this one. I know I made an idiot of myself not only by breaking down but by freaking out on Beck when all he was trying to do was help me out.

I really hope this blows over.

* * *

><p>3:54<p>

Six more minutes to go. I cannot describe how badly I've been anticipating the end of this torture session.

Andre, Cat, and Robbie are conversing among themselves. Beck is off to one side, his rapt attention on his cell. He hasn't spoken to me since my blowout. I don't know if it's a good thing or not. I feel horrible and I know I need to apologize to him. He hasn't spoken a word since we all came down.

"So, Tori, you coming to my place?" Cat breaks away from the conversation to come join me. This day sucks big, hairy donkey balls but if she wasn't here things would be considerably worse.

"Yeah. Can I catch a ride with you?"

"Sure thing," she winks playfully. I find myself blushing.

As the situation with Jade progressively worsens my relationship with Cat becomes more solid. It's far from stable. Sometimes it feels like she's trying too hard to get my attention and at others I feel like I depend on her far too much. At weird times I find myself thinking about my eccentric redheaded friend. Others I find myself wishing Jade was a little more like her. Kind, caring, sweet, outgoing. I wish Jade liked me like Cat does. How much more fucked up can I possibly get? I don't want to find out.

Just as the bell's about to ring the wicked witch of the West comes sauntering up to the group. No one bothers to comment. Not even Beck. I'm certain they're fed up with her constant mood swings. It's hard to keep up. Or not really. There's only two moods to Jade- bitch and bitchier.

I will say this. Despite her very predictable nature she manages to surprise me yet again. She bypasses Beck and comes straight to me. My insides knot up. Is she going to insult me some more? There isn't enough pieces of my heart on the floor to satisfy her?

"I don't want to fight with you, Jade."

"Then don't." She says simply. In a lower voice she asks, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I look at her apprehensively. Is she trying to get me away from the witnesses? "I don't know. Cat's my ride-"

"I'll give you a ride home, Tori." She nearly chokes saying my name, looking very uncomfortable. Good. Now she knows how it feels.

I want to let her stew in her turmoil right now, I want her to feel as badly as she makes me feel. "Cat?"

Cat comes trudging to my side, a huge grin splitting her face. She tosses her arm around my shoulder casually but I see the steam rising from Jade. She throws the grim faced brunette a little wave.

"S'up Tor? Ready?"

"Hey, um, Jade's gonna give me a ride to your place later-"

"I said I'd give you a ride home. Not to her house." She corrects me.

Common knowledge of Hollywood Arts High: Jade West does not get along with anyone on any given day. She seems to have an exceptional amount of hostility towards Cat though. I think I know the reason but I refuse to come to any conclusions where it concerns Jade. They're never right anyway.

Cat goes on grinning. Unfazed. "Sure dude, just make sure you get her to me early. We got plans tonight."

"Fuck this."

"Jade-"

"Stay away from me, Vega!"

I'm left staring at her retreating back. I stare for a second. At least it feels like a second. When I snap out of my funk everyone but Cat has left. I guess they're tired of dealing with our bull shit and don't even bother anymore. Can't say that I blame them.

"What was that?" Cat asks me.

That was a typical interaction between Jade and I. There's no middle ground with her, no in between. She's either yelling at me, telling me what a worthless waste of space I am or she's calling my name softly, worshiping me with the highest compliments. It's either a hit or a kiss, a slap or a hug. She's burning hot or freezing cold. Too soft for my hands to handle or as hard as stone. Emotional or emotionless. She loves me she hates me, she's sick of me she can't get enough of me, she's disgusted by me but she craves me.

My shoulders slump, tears sting my eyes. I just want to go home, crawl into bed, and sleep the next couple of days away. I'm about to say as much to Cat when I recall a crucial detail. My pillows, my sheets, my bed, my clothes- my whole room smells like Jade. As much as I love to wrap myself in those sheets and pretend it's her my sanity can't take that kind of assault.

I trail behind Cat quietly and hop in her car. A silver z28. A wet dream of a car. Without saying much we buckle up and pull out of the parking lot. I don't miss Jade's black Tahoe parked off to the side of the lot. I know it's conceited but I wonder if she was waiting for me. I sigh.

Beck climbs into the passenger seat.

"How bout some tunes?" Cat suggests.

I begin messing with the radio, deciding I need to get pumped up for the night if I expect to make my energetic friend happy when a particularly catchy line grabs my attention.

_I've tried like you _

_to do everything you want to do_

_This is the last time_

_I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you_

_Everything falls apart even the people that never frown_

_eventually breakdown. Every-_

Cat flips the channel. Nikki Minaj starts belting out "Turn Me On." A considerably safer song to listen to.

We drive on for a few minutes in loaded silence. Who's going to pull the trigger I wonder?

"Who sings that song?"

Cat glances at me. "It's Pushing Me Away by Linkin Park."

Funny how she knew which song I was referring to. "It's very fitting don't you think?"

She barks out an awkward laugh. "Yeah it is."

I smile a little. Trust Cat to be blunt about it. It's one of the reasons I like her so much. She would never lie to me, never pretend to be someone she's not. Even though she already does. The thing is, Cat's always been real with her friends. With me.

My phone vibrates in my pocket. Text message. The sinking feeling in my gut tells me not to answer it.

I open the text.

**Are you fucking Cat?**

Leave it to her to jump to that assumption. It just fucking burns me that she thinks I'm some sort of slut. Just because she runs back and forth between Beck's bed and mine doesn't mean I do the same thing.

**No but maybe I should. At least Cat wants me. Are you fucking Beck?**

It takes her eight seconds to reply. I know because I'm counting to ten trying to get my rage down before I say something that I'll regret.

**Yes.**

And somehow I knew this. Despite her many reassurances that she wasn't I always knew she was lying to me. It's just a feeling that I had all along. I knew it but I can't breathe right now. It hurts.

With shaky hands I text a reply then toss my phone to the back seat. I won't let her ruin the rest of my day no matter how badly I want to crawl in a hole and stay there.

**Lose my number, Jade.**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: S'up guys? Anyway I want to thank everyone that reviewed the first chapter- you guys are what keeps a writer going :D. I want to address a few things.<strong>

**One review stated that Cat is very ooc. Yes, she is. I like her like that. As the story continues you'll notice there's a lot of ooc-ness (is that a word?) I'm basing these characters off of actual people and some parts are based off of actual events. What's the point of fanfiction if you're just going to copy what the creator already did?**

**Jade didn't star much in this chapter, I know. I'm just trying to set up Tori's story first. Rest assured from now on Jade will be a prominent character. She's my fave ;) review!**


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